by Hysterese

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maledom mentality aesthetics of brutality/ it's based on brutality forehead's made of stone building identity: victim of society/ outcast society loud and growling voice "weakness is luxury" the rough pack keeps you company smartness drives you mad problems/clash - reality but simple answers all you see the others treat you wrong angst filled head/ this head full of angst that angst determines angst filled heart/ that heart full of fear that miserable angst tears us apart
try to look you in the eye can feel so hard - avoid for weeks want me to talk and share but i'm not able to connect cannot handle common stuff it's way too much, it makes no sense i try to operate, but fail if not in charge of rules turn away, get back to my routine and narrow topics desolate, again we are mind-blind and stuck
he got cancer and he got cake why is it not the other way round? there is no such thing like a punchline and i ask the wrong questions and i know that since like forever but it doesn't get better anyway life fades into nothing
it's indistinct, though i can feel one step away: it's within reach relentless time steadily proceeds there's no escape, there's no respite can you help me out, please stop time and tide! I'm not ready - want to carry on good times don't you think it‘s right? I cherish the illusion deadlock is my defiant attempt foresight means fear. i fight the tears I'm too close now to deny relentless time steadily proceeds there's no escape, there's no respite
i am really nothing i am no grown man i am not a fighter not a citizen not a student nor a worker i'm no traveller not a punk or any cool guy i'm not smart or dumb i am nothing got no intent to change i am nothing can't be identified i am not an artist i'm not in good shape i'm not out of work or poor and i cannot skate maybe i'm a slacker but i am not sure no ambition to reflect on why i do not care
3 rooms: the whole world the replay of silence dishes lost their taste resistant to change embrace the past now there's fear and pain not yet resigned nothing to attain miss the people lost beyond recall your mind is miles away tedium human stimulation zero 3 rooms cramped and narrow world silence covers everything lost taste dishes all the same can't change, sit numb now there is just fear and pain not resigned, nothing to attain people lost beyond recall stimulation zero
trying to make it through the day never move too far away from hideouts that i know blank faces all over the place impassive, cold and stiff Thumper's got to go got to escape these places packed with alienated faces look in these eyes/ straight faces death in disguise/ i see nothing else besides straight faces round me
the days pass by and i can't even grab one hour feeling crapulous every second no matter if i'm sober or pissed the sun is down and i got no clue how it slipped away i creep around and wait eat, stare, breathe, sigh body hurts from doing nothing nail biting, shredded fingers addicted to the screens these walls are my dumb coffin apathetic since so many years i stopped to quest the cause i try to disappear
my heart my skin my thoughts my view my mind my love my stance my attitude I harden and you stay soft and weak the crew of ghosts grows and grows and I harden you become a crazy mad man and there's nothing I can do maybe if I (was softer)
i know it's gonna end and we're to drown and no one comes for rescue we're running in chaos circles and the bodies slip and clash feels like sinking heavy breathing smells like fear of death and pain recognized we're trapped as my ankles got wet i try to calm down and think of any way out but it's useless rising pressure makes the derelict eerily groan some take life-sustaining measures others cry and some just crack freezing deepness kraken-state want to wake up it's too late there's no light give it up sorrow-stricken til the shock all to fade doomed and caged/locked in wreck!


released June 5, 2014


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